The New York Dog and The Hollywood Dog magazines have named their worst celebrity pet owner of 2006: Somewhat fittingly, the honor bestowed upon Paris Hilton last year goes to her partner in cooch-flashing, pooch-neglecting crime, Britney Spears:
"She once had three Chihuahuas ... and never left home without at least one of them on her arm," [editor Hilary] O'Hagan said. "As soon as she met K-Fed and had kids they (the dogs) disappeared."
The AP's parenthetical clarification is necessary, of course, as the same could easily have been said in recent weeks of her ex-husband and two young children. There's little need for concern, however, as the trio of lap dogs left to fend for themselves on the grounds of Spears' estate have recently discovered her two abandoned and hungry infant sons huddling for warmth in what was once K-Fed's background dancing studio; they have since added the tykes to their own litter, and in time, these feral Chihuahua-boys will grow into fierce, yapping warriors. Spears, meanwhile, remains blissfully ignorant of the changes at home, focusing most of her current energies on her staunchly pro-panty image-rehabilitating campaign.